Bayonetta Meets the Avengers
by Xenon866
Summary: What if Bayonetta meet the Avengers during the battle of New York.


Shopping was a girls best friend and an utter pain for any male companions who might find themselves being dragged into shopping trip as Enzo yet again was reduced to a mere porter carrying the many parcels of the bewitchingly beautiful tall woman he was following.

"How'd you keep finding me, in NEW YORK in all places?!"

The short fat man struggling to keep up with Cereza's long strides,

"Do try to keep up Enzo, there are scarves and dressed waiting to be bought." Her haughty tone barely lost in the haze of traffic.

"Oh trouble follows you wherever you are Bayonetta, I'm in no danger of leaving your side." Eyes glazing over remembering the last time they went shopping…. "Here i am trying to buy Ed and Edna, birthday presents and i find you here, next thing you know there'll be angels everywhere, fucking explosions, shrapnel flying towards my crotch like some sort of fucking magnet..."

Cereza rolled her eyes at the foul mouthed Italian, secretly though she was secretly pleased to spend time with him. All eyes were on her but she was sure she would have garnered all the attention from the revealed creamy skin her dress: A rather low v neck gray dress with a single sleeve, a lacy red shawl wrapped around her shoulders and a newly bought hat made of waves of black and red frills, pheasant feathers bouncing with every jaunty step. She allowed herself a single moment to admire her reflection in a store window, allowing Enzo to catch up with her.

"CEREZA"

Sighing she turned from her reflection.

"What is it now Enzo…"

Enzo has dropped the boxed onto the ground, eyes wide open staring into the sky, bayonetta followed his gaze into the sky, a blue portal not unlike her wicked weaves in the sky growing larger and larger silvery creatures falling from the sky.

"FUCKING KNEW IT CEREZA, ANGELS, AGAIN ALWAYS WHENEVER I GO SHOPPING WITH YOU."

While Enzo all but ran towards the tall female diving to hide behind her as the silvery creatures began to fall towards the earth.

"It was only one time Enzo, besides I'll finish this in no time and we can finish our shopping, although these are certainly ugly creature even for angels… Wait that can't be right."

She blinked twice at the silvery creatures who now at a closer glanced seemed to be something else. Now that she really thought Enzo could see them as well as everyone else on the street who was screaming. A blast of blue light hit the street and debris went everywhere as people ran for cover screaming the creatures continuing to pour out of the giant portal.

"DO SOMETHING BAYONETTA." the first of the alien creatures landed stepping menacingly towards pedestrians, weapons raised, Enzo cowering behind the amazo, pleading to her.

"Well since you asked so nicely" She removed her hat dropping it onto Enzo before stepping out to the street, she whistle piercingly until she was sure all eyes were on her.

"Boys so wonderful of you to throw this party for me." She raised two guns from god know where. "Let's dance." She smiled leaping into actions, guns firing at the creatures, fluid splattering from their heads as the bullets made their way into flesh. She smiled at civilians watching from store windows, confusion shock, horror, as she barely dodged blades blasts of blue energy and blades thrusted in her directions. She winked at a particularly nice looking young man watching from a cafe looked slightly below where her head was, her dress and shawl now ruined, stained with patches of milky blue blood, hanging on by a few threads, barely covering her chest and posterior.

"Ever heard of the story of cinderella?" she dodged another thrust, kicking an alien gun away from it's position poised right in front of her groin. "No? Well, I've got a surprise for you." a perfectly times slash from another alien cut the final thread that was somehow keeping the entire dress on her body. Onlookers drooled slightly for a moment as the sun glared of her pale white skin for a moment, before black strands made their way down her body, wrapping themselves around her chest and torso until she appeared clothes in a black body suit. Two additional blue guns were flung into the air as Bayonetta did a handstand in the middle of the street legs parting in the split kicking the creatures that had begun to surround her. She caught the guns on her heels before back flipping, legs wrapping themselves around one of the white creatures snapping it's neck as she gracefully slid from its body onto the ground in the frame of a second. She proceeded to dash forward legs sliding towards the unfortunate private area of another, gun firing, with the grace of a break dancer she spun on the ground her long legs firing at the creatures coming her way. She parried a slash with her heel rolling until she was standing again, backhanding the creature looking surprised to be slapped by a human.

"If you need to learn how to speak to a lady talk to your mum." She smiled at the confused creature before ending it's misery with another shot. The crowd watching her were now cheering for her as she began wiping the floor with the foreign creatures quite literally. The thought crossed her mind as she realized she wasn't in purgatorio as she was fighting these creatures,

"definitely not angel's then" She thought to herself, as her mind mulled over the fact that she would soon have her images everywhere, phone screens recording her fight against the creatures, "oh well it was bound eventually" "LEVITHMONG" She lifted both of her arms into the air summoning an iron maiden, with a well placed kick shoving the last of the creatures to meet it's demise. She stopped to receive cheers from the crowd of humans.

"Thank you, thank you." she blew them a kiss.

"Now would be a good time to test whether I can hurt these creatures from Purgatorio." She thought to herself drawing an umbran eye sigil in the air above her, leaping into it disappearing to onlookers.

She landed on the New York Roof tops, more creatures flying from the blue portal in the sky.

"Oh fuck" she indulged herself to a profanity running to intercept more creatures that would certainly be attacking civilians. She summoned Madama Butterflies arm to punch several air crafts that were heading in her direction sending them flying into a building with an explosion. She didn't have time to think before she was diving head first into a street crowded with aliens chasing civilians. Her heels sinking into the backside of an fortunate creature as she tore into two as her legs parted to aim at the head of another, her guns lightly brushing past the buttocks of another creature's before she made a deafening slap push it onto the ground where she summoned a stomp from Madama Butterfly to finish it off.

"Boys, as much as I enjoy fun, I think you might be going a bit fast for me, so I'd like you to meet a dear friend of mine- AVAVAGO" her hair opening a large portal as Gomorrah lifted itself from the portal. "Usually I wouldn't let you off the leash so easily, but these boys need someone to teach them a lesson." She winked, a sinister smile on her face. "If you even think about trying to attack me again…" The demon cowered remembering the beating she'd given it when it tried to betray her. The alien creatures in shock were beginning to move back but Gomorrah was upon them in seconds biting through armour and bones if they were the sugar coating of a chocolate. She smiled as the demon dragon finished snacking on the Aliens, before letting out a terrifying roar and disappearing as her hair came back to form her dress. Bayonetta felt her heart beat rise as she saw a young girl crying bleeding on the sidewalk all but abandoned to the mercy of the aliens, she looked around to find the street empty of all people, the fight it seemed has moved elsewhere. She draw another umbran eye sigil reappearing before the little girl.

"Little one where are you parents." The young girl looked shocked as a fully grown woman appeared out of nowhere after a traumatizing battle of gore has just happened in front of her. "Come on where's your mother?" She sounded gentle as she waited for the girl to reply. "I don't know… when the monsters came we were running but i lost her hand and-" tears dribbling onto her cheeks, "now I can't find her.". "Chin up little one do you have a name?" She all but commanded the child. "Jenny" the little girl whimpered. "Well Jenny these creatures have ruined your day, they've been really naughty and I'm here to teach them a lesson." she lifted the child into her arms. "I don't have time to find your mummy at the moment but I'll help you to a safe place." Fighting with was not ideal in a potential war zone, but it was something that had to be done. "That sound good?" she smiled at the child who has stopped crying. Jenny nodded. "Good" She lifted the child onto the her shoulder. "Hold on tight"

She began sprinting through the streets, jenny giggling with pleasure as the child was jostle in the extreme speed. The army seemed to have made an appearance Tanks and soldier milling in the streets already fighting the foul gray creatures in the street, however their bullets didn't seem to have much of an effect on them as hers did. She stepped behind what she hoped was the leading officer.

"Ahem"

He turned eyes in shocked before seeing the woman and child. "Mam sorry this ways closed off as you can clearly see, civilian shelters are just a few blocks away from... " "Oh hush now", Bayonetta pushing herself into the soldier's personal space "I just need someone to take care of dear little Jenny" she lifted the happy girl from her shoulders, pushing her into the arms of the soldier who dropped her gun in surprise. "I'll take care of this" she smiled at Jenny "Watch and learn" She leapt into the middle of the fight, activating witch time as the enemy moved through the air as if it were treacle, placing demonic bullets through brains, or what she hoped was brains, the soldier on her side still as they watched a skimpily dressed woman single handedly blast the gray white brains of the enemy onto the pavement. Witch time ended and there was a single enemy left on the street quivering watching as the female sauntered towards him, guns pointed to it's head.

"You've been really naughty interrupting my shopping, you need a punishment." she smiled wickedly- MICMA" She smiled as the soldier gasped as a wooden horse was summoned into battlefield, she held a chain in her hand, the last creature desperately began to back up, but Bayonetta caught it pulling it onto the spiked weapon of torture. She place began grinding the creatures groin against the spikes pushing the upper part of his body with the chain, it let out a painful moan as the umbran witch smiled enjoying it's humiliation. "Don't fuck with a witch" she whispered, before stomping down on the creature separating it's torso from its lower part as the chain ripped its upper half into the air. She turned back to face the soldier, their arousal in the air as she walked towards them.

"Are you one of the Avengers Ma'am?" one of the braver men asked. "I have no idea who these Avengers are but I am on your side, could someone please tell me where the rest of them are at the moment?" She smiled at the men intimidated at the woman who'd just bested them all -while in heels. A soldier lifted a com listening in to the voice on the otherline: "We have a woman who shows supernatural speed and an ability to summon… she is requesting the location of the enemy- no i don't have her name- No she helped us sir- okay okay." He motioned to bayonetta to take the walkie talkie. She sighed taking the device from the soldier she towered over.

"Hello" "Just who the hell are you?" "Well thats no way to start a conversation."  
"British are you?" "I don't see how this concerns you." "It's my job to know everything." "Well a girl's gotta have her secrets" she replied her voice carefree and confident. "Before you start demanding things from a girl you've gotta give her what she wants first…" "Are you flirting with me?"  
"How dare you insinuate myself a lady would make such advances, testing your will with my alluring voice, when all i want to do is help you fight off this alien invasion." "We will talk afterwards."  
"Oh I love pillowtalks." She smiled as the soldiers nearby coughed loudly and the man on the other side of the line violently choke. "Three kilometers from here north west, you'll find the avengers there as well holding back the enemy, I wish you luck ma'am." "Oh by the way the name's Bayonetta." She dropped the com to look at little Jenny blowing her a kiss. "I hope you find your mummy, but these fine gentlemen will look after you while I'm gone."

She turned summoning Malphas's Wings taking to the air as she flew at top speeds towards the fight she had already wasted enough time, there were innocents on the line. She flew past alien hover crafts destroying them when they came to close, but the destruction was happening all around her too many people to save to many enemies to defeat all at once.

She grimaced as she was forced to face an entire fleet of enemies at once, bolts of blue energy heading right towards her.

"CANILU" Hydra came to her aid, the horned serpent heads slashing at the beams of energy block them before they advanced into the fleet reducing them to nothing but gore and metal chunks. Hydra looked at her, the seven serpent heads too staring a the witch surprised and unhappy at the offering of alien carcasses. "Sorry love, I'll be sure to send something delicious your way soon" She sent the demon away before diving onto the pavement only to have a giant green creature brush the air in front of her nose before landing into a building. The green creature roared looking confused at the revealing get up of the witch, she prepared herself for another fight but another voice spoke behind her.

"Identify thyself witch" she turned to face a blonde haired buff man, a large hammer hand in his hand. "My my, that's a large hammer" She smiled as her heels clicked towards him. "Compensating for something" "It's name is Mjolnir and my powers are one with it, for only I am worthy." "You wouldn't happen to be one of these avengers mentioned to me?" "Yes I am an Avenger, the green fellow that just landed he is known as Bruce Banner, I am Thor Odinson." "Bayonetta."  
"Thou art an Umbran Witch, but were thou kind not hunted to extinction in the witch hunts?"  
"Hmmm you seem quite knowledgeable." Bayonetta lifted her gun firing behind the bulky figure, Thor turned to see another alien being fall to the ground. "You wouldn't know what these beings are?" She asked blowing the smoke from her gun into the blonde's face, the green hulking creature behind them still fighting. "They are known as the Chitauri, a race allied with the mad titan Thanos." At that moment a new creature escaped the blue portal, a serpent like being like a Prudence angel. "Finally something that might prove a challenge, I call dibs." She smiled at Thor. "What is this Dibs though speak of? He looked confused. "It means if you get in my way I will put you in your place." With that the Umbran Witch summoned a Malphas's wings to her again and she lifted herself into the sky to challenge the great leviathan. She flew straight into the being's head punching it into the sky where it let out a horrendous scream of pain, she looked around the Skyscrapers seemed empty…. She Sighed she wouldn't risk it. She flew up again to the creature firing rounds into it's side doing very little damage as she flew above it landing on it's head. The creatures-chitari wear riding this creature well not for long, as she flipped the first Chitari over board with an over the top cartwheel and kick, slinging the other over her back following his partner. "Well know that's done" she smiled wickedly. "It's your turn my pet."

"PDEE BARMA" She summoned Madam Butterfly in her entirety and together they stomped on the flying leviathan pushing it down towards the ground, stomping their heels drawing blood as the creature desperately tried to slow its descent onto the street below. It landed with a crunch, yet still the demoness continued stamping on the creature until it exploded in a shower of creamy white gore and fluid. Bayonetta stepped out of the carnage unphased by the destruction Thor looking at her scandalized as her hair slowly wrapped itself back around her form as Madam Butterfly made her exit.

"LIke what you see?" she smiled "I'm a bit busy at the moment but I'm sure I could fit a time for you somewhere." She rested prelude on her shoulder the blue gun glinting untouched by fluid, a perk that Rodin has infused in all his weapons. "Do you have any Idea why there's a portal spewing Chitari?" Thor grimaced: "My brother Loki," Bayonetta's eye's widened a little, "I knew a Loki a while ago, but he never mentioned a brother, well someone's gotta keep that boy out of trouble" she smiled."Pray ask where may I find your brother?" "I do not know, Bayonetta, Stark last saw him at Stark tower." "Stark? the Tony Stark." She thought to herself scanning her memories of the vague snippets of information she had caught on the millionaire playboy. At that moment a fresh wave of Chitauri were upon them. "Another dance Thor?" "I do not understand though, now is not the time for dancing." "Ugh, in simpler words let's fuck some shit up." 


End file.
